i think about this quite often. sometimes it’s the thing that keeps me smiling. kind of my pampalubag loob of the whole situation. but there are times when i have to force myself to believe this because deep inside, i know it’s never gonna happen.
” You had my heart inside of your hand “
In a few weeks i’ll be taking one of the most epic trips of my life. it will be the longest period i’ll be out of the country. i’m pretty excited. not only am i going to my dream destination but i’ll have another chance to reinvent myself.
i’ll be closing another chapter of my life with this trip. before i fully enter the real world, it’s time for nixxie to level up. i did this before collage. i became a stronger person. i don’t think i’d survive everything if i was still the same person i was when i was in highschool.
all my emotional baggage will be left somewhere here. either via email or a hand written letter. people that’ve been lingering too much in my subconscious will know everything. i’ll talk about everything until the end of the trip then let it go once i arrive in manila. this is the 1st step.
i’m sick of caring too much. apparently i care to much about some people and they don’t give a fuck. it’s not like i’ll stop caring, i’ll just stop showing how much i do. maybe then i’ll be somewhat more appreciated. detaching myself from people will be the next step in making a better and stronger me.
this is my song for you. THIS. like shit.
i was introduced to citizen cope around a year ago and Sideways has been one of my favorites. a friend told me that the song is better live than the studio recordings then i came across this. holyfreakingshit.
a pair of red or white Dr. Martens will be one one of the first pair of shoes i’m going to buy once i start working. how wonderful to pair this up with a nice dress. <3
i was feverish this morning because i got rained on yesterday and the day before. i cancelled my morning plans and had half a mind to cancel my evening plans as well. luckily the evening plan person texted me that he’s busy tonight hence the cancellation. my mom told me that retail therapy would cure me, and so it sorta did. my fever is lower after buying a top and 2 pairs of pants. wearing the top i bought because i’m loving the stripes. :) bought wintermelon milk tea from milk+tea also had dinner in army navy. the sailor sub. oh my how sinful it was! i can still smell the caramelized onions and jalapeno cheese on my fingers. omnomnom.
my eyes are droopy today. droooooooppppyyyy~
I have known some of the people in one of my cliques for 15 years now, some less but definitely more than a decade. we’ve been going out as a group since the 5th grade. it’s been sort of a tradition for us to take a group photo at a cheap studio every time we go to the mall. yesterday we decided to meet up for dinner, loandbehold another cheap studio picture.it was a fun and nostalgic dinner. i look forward to more of our crazy bonding times with curfews and no alcohol. i’m also looking forward to our video recording. us being crazy and whatnot :)